October 2011
5 tags
Sleep count
Remember Jackson, the kid from my college writing class I was telling you all about having fallen asleep 7 times during class?
He broke his record. He fell asleep 11 times in 80 minutes. Making his total number of times fallen asleep in the class up to 22 (because there were a few times in between the last post and this one).
Dearest Jackson, please, try to get some sleep.
Cock slap
I said this to my friend yesterday.
“One day you will have a fine man friend. And you will be fast asleep. And he will take out his cock and BAM! cock slap you in the face.”
What I received was a look of pure terror.
September 2011
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if teachers had tumblr, their posts would be like...
most-awkward-moments:
The moment when my student doesn’t pay attention in class:
When they don’t do their homework:
The awkward moment when i’m walking into the classroom and they are like:
Their faces when i’m correcting the tests:
When a student thinks she/he is the best and confronts me:
When i took their ipods, cellphones out and they look me like.
Outside i’m like:
But...
Re-blog if you used to watch any of these shows!
click here if you’re awkward
IACS kids
In some schools kids text in class and go to the bathroom and do drugs.
IACS kids. We play scrabble.
There are exactly 5 joints in my body I can crack...
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Mom: “Why don’t you communicate with your teachers about your work more often?”
Mom I don’t communicate with my friends about thing I like. Why would I communicate with my superiors about things I don’t?
Guaranteed way to pick up woman.
It’s called the velociraptor.
In just 5 simple steps you can get yourself some fine bitches.
Find a group of attractive and drunk women.
Velociraptor that shit up! Run over to the group of women, surround them, with arms bent inward, running on the balls of your feet, hunched over, acting like a carnivore ready to strike at any moment.
STRIKE! Run into the center of the group and start...
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Today I was told I look like a lemur.
It’s better than hedgehog, so I’ll take it.
5 tags
mikeythemethmatician:
I ain’t sayin she a gold digger but she did move west to california in 1849.
1 tag
At a conference, Stephanie Meyer said: “The God...
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"Dude, she has a girlfriend?" "So? Soccer has a...
One of those nights
It’s one of those nights where I’m just happy and I can’t wait to go to school just to see the smiling faces of the people I care about. I love tonight!
Things seem like things are going to be better...
I saw Chantelle and Zack which even though there were several awkward silences went better than expected.
I’ve found some great new friends in other grades.
I’m having more luck in terms of relationships.
I’m fixing past mistakes.
Things are just looking up.
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MY BRAND NEW TUMBLR!
HEY EVERYONE PLEASE FOLLOW MY NEW TUMBLR!#! TY! : http:/uknowme.tumblr.com
1 tag
MY BRAND NEW TUMBLR!
HEY EVERYONE PLEASE FOLLOW MY NEW TUMBLR!#! TY! : http:/uknowme.tumblr.com
GAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
I waited weeks to talk to him! Fucking forever. When I discovered he was talking to EVERYONE BUT ME, I was cool about it. When he missed 3 skype dates, I was cool with it. Now he tells me to get on between 5 and 6,waits until 6 and then talks to me for 4 fucking minutes. I give up.
